the funniest thing abt the fear of “boohoo what will happen to israel” is like. you should worry about the entire fucking region. what will happen to egypt. what will happen to lebanon. what will happen to jordan. israel’s genocidal strategy has put every single country in the middle east at risk. it is deliberately and knowingly feeding every single extremist group out there. the world ignored what the us did to iraq and afghanistan, they got al-qaeda and a hundred other militant groups. they ignored what bashar did to syria and they got isis. you ignore what israel is doing to palestine right now, you will get worse. for those of you who love brutal realism, who want concrete solutions, this is brutal realism. palestinian liberation is not some kind of idealistic fantasy, it is the only concrete solution to achieve any kind of lasting peace. anyone with any sense of geopolitical acuity can tell you what israel is doing is not some kind of secret first-world strategy that only civilized nations are privy to that will eventually work out. what israel is doing (and what biden is whole-heartedly endorsing) is not just abhorrent on a moral level, it is politically suicidal. there is no longer enough cover for arab regimes to look away. there is no cover for the liberalisms of the UN. this is happening in broad daylight. israel is out of control and the most powerful countries in the world are betting on a genocidal horse that will come running right back to their doorstep.
“No one remembered my birthday-” Well, but did YOU tell anyone it was coming up and you wanted to celebrate it with them?
“I wish someone would see through it when I tell people I’m fine-” Well, but have YOU considered not lying when people ask you how you’re doing?
“I am so resentful of my friend because they keep doing this thing that really bothers me-” Well, but have YOU directly communicated that the thing is bothering you?
“I am burning out because my friend keeps expecting me to help them with serious struggles-” Well, but have YOU tried to establish the boundaries you need to feel okay?
“No one ever asks me about this thing I really care about-” Well, but have YOU brought it up yourself?
“I miss my friend but they haven’t texted me-” Well, but have YOU been reaching out to them?
Sometimes people are mean, uncaring assholes, in which case you get to be mad. But sometimes you just need to communicate better. Try communication before you assume someone doesn’t care!
Having someone who knows you on such a deep level that they see past your mask, or sense you need a check in is such a deep satisfying fantasy. It’s up there with living in a cottagecore farm, or buying all your friends houses when you win the lottery. But you have to make peace with the fact that this is also a fantasy. It is unfair to expect people to “just know” when to respect your boundaries or to push them.
Being cared for is not a fantasy. But you have to let people know you need it. And you have to understand that sometimes they will let you down. Just like you totally could live in a cute farm, but you still have to shovel shit, and the crops sometimes die anyway. Or maybe you win the lottery, but you still have to manage your money and learn real estate law.
The fantasy isn’t the caring, the fantasy is not having to do the work. And it sucks. It’s embarrassing. But like the meme says, it’s not rotten if it’s YOU. So do it for yourself.
Local house witch telling you to please learn basic housekeeping skills.
It’s not your fault if no one ever taught you but YouTube is a magical place and can teach you at your own pace.
Someone asked me what housekeeping skills I’d recommend learning.
Keep in ming that this is not me shaming you, I know you have your reasons, folks. This is just a guy who enjoys clean spaces asking that you start learning now.
Here’s what I suggest as an adult who has lived with other adults who didn’t have housekeeping skills:
First and foremost, learn about all the places in your house that need to be cleaned and understand how often they should be cleaned. the American Cleaning Institute (I guess that’s a thing) has a good article about basic cleaning info. Plus this video on cleaning tips is great!
Also, you don’t have to use fabric softener and you shouldn’t use it on towels or any fabric meant to absorb. (Learn about laundromats) And please learn how to clean out your dryer vent, it’s a safety hazard!
Get a disinfecting cleaner for your high-touch areas, especially the gross ones like the bathroom. Just because it doesn’t look dirty, doesn’t mean it’s clean!
Now these resources are not the end-all-be-all, but I think if you don’t know much about cleaning your space this is a good way to start.
Tip from a professional housekeeper: a lot of hotels use clorox bleach spray and/or a peroxide + water solution (½ part peroxide + 1 part water). Both are good for disinfecting. You could also use white vinegar + water, but white vinegar is not as good as a disinfectant as bleach or peroxide.
While all of Europe is responsible, I think it’s also important for people from the UK to acknowledge the particular and direct culpability of our government in what has happened in Israel and Palestine - mostly because it never is. Politicians don’t mention it, the media never mentions it, they tell you nothing about it in school, no one talks about it. I was just saying exactly the same thing about India, but if you ask an average British person if they think their country did a good job of ruling Palestine you’ll get a blank stare, maybe they’ll pull a massively uninformed opinion out of their arse, I doubt many could tell you exactly when it was. But the fact is that when Britain assumed control of the Holy land in 1918 both Zionism and Palestinian nationalism were relatively minor concerns, and when we left in 1948 there was a civil war raging between those two sides. All of the important seeds of the conflict were sown and took root while Britain was in charge. The first major Palestinian uprising of 1936-39 was an anti-colonial struggle against the British Empire.
But today, watching the news, British people are like ‘wow guess we’ll never understand why Jews and Arabs just naturally hate each other’… just like those Hindus and Muslims in India and Pakistan, and those Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland’….. and all of those other places on earth where the legacy of British occupation and partition is division, violence and misery. The Empire is not a distant memory we can feel vaguely proud and nostalgic about (as most British people apparently do) it was a global crime of almost unimaginable proportions and it’s still (in some cases quite literally) blowing up in our faces.
I will happily delete this if I’m derailing or taking away from the original message (initially I put this in the tags, but a friend asked me to reblog as text)
If you don’t want to pursue an autism or adhd diagnosis and you have access to a doctor or therapist you can get them to write you a note attesting to a symptom of your neurodivergence (rather than naming the condition itself) and stating the need for accommodation.
It’s something my therapist told me about when we were still working in offices. I have sensory processing issues and on multiple occasions the noise in my office was so bad I broke the skin on my hand clenching my fist.
This work-around of course won’t fix structural ableism and relies on you having access to a doctor/therapist who actually gives a crap, so still might only help a couple of folks.
